advice
Losing your virginity
Recently I uploaded a video about losing your virginity! It was the first video of my series which I am going to be working on for the next while. In my video I outline 5 rules for you to consider before having sex for the first time. The response this video got was incredible and it has encouraged me to create a blog component - where I explore some more things about having sex for the first time.
Why do we have sex?
Losing your virginity is quite a big deal, right? Well it is when you hear a weird bunch of things about it! Some say that you need to be "ready". Others drill you about protection and that if you don't, "you'll get pregnant or contract aids". And some even go so far as to say that when you lose your virginity, you also lose your "innocence". It's all a little bit overwhelming if you ask me. Because along with making up your own mind about something you've never done before, you also have to consider everyone's so called advice and opinions about sex. Aaaaah it can be all too much! So how about I put it simply for you?
Well because we are programmed to do so. Having sex is just as instinctive and natural as eating. Our brains are just designed to motivate us towards this behaviour. So don't ever feel ashamed if you want to explore what sex is all about.... Yes you are allowed to keep reading! ;)
When should I start having sex?
There are obviously a whole bunch of theories here. In this day and age we are encouraged to have sex when we are ready. But when are we ready? There is no specific time when somebody simply feels ready to have sex, because it is different for everybody. My theory is that you (and only you) will know when you're ready. I suppose the closest way to describe it is when you feel completely comfortable with yourself and the other person, and that you are aware of all of the precautions...
Oh and that it is in line with your religious and moral values or course. Many people believe in waiting until marriage. For whatever reason, if this is something that you value, then I urge you to stick to what you believe in.
What contraceptives can I use?
Today there are so many ways to keep you protected that you really have no excuse for those oopsies! Condoms are everywhere, and trust me they work brilliantly! Click here for a list of other wonderful contraceptives.
Who should I have sex with?
You always want to know the person you are going to be sleeping with well enough that you can talk to him/her about their sexual history. If you feel like it'll be too embarrassing to speak about that stuff, then I really think you need to reconsider getting naked with that person.
I urge you to also evaluate your relationship in terms of what you want from it. For example: If you are unsure that he/she is in it for the long haul and you feel that you would like them to be, then you also need to be really careful about having sex with this person. Having sex (especially for the first time) can lead to emotional attachment. You need to make sure that the other person is aware of your expectations and that he/she shares in or respects the type of commitment you're after.
When I had sex for the first time, I'd been in a relationship for over nine months. This made everything a whole lot easier because I was very sure that he would stick around.
Where should I have sex?
Lots of people think it's cool to have sex in exotic places but trust me a nice comfortable bed works fine! Especially if it is your first time. A familiar environment is well suited for first time sex. Ff you feel that you can't have sex in your parents' house, then discuss other alternatives and come to some sort of arrangement that suits you are your parter best.
How do you even have sex?
Oh boy! How to answer this? Well, look at it this way: When you first learn to ride a bike without training wheels you instinctively know that you must peddle to keep the momentum up so you don't fall, right? I mean you still might wobble along the way, especially in the beginning, but you do get the drift of things. Sex is kind of similar in that you instinctively know what to do (remember what I said about sex being just as natural as eating?) Do keep in mind that it's fine to wobble, because you pretty much have all you life to practise having sex! And nobody can blame you for being a bit shaky your first time.
I hope these little pointers have helped you better understand having sex for the first time. If you have any questions please do not hesitate to comment below. Remember you can even post anonymously! And please follow my for regular Weird and Wonderful updates!
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